Honey, I’m very disappointed in you. I got a letter from your teacher telling me you were rubbing your little wiener at school in the locker room. Did you forget that you’re only supposed to rub it with Mommy? You have nothing to say for yourself? I’m going to have to ground you for a month! No? Is letting you touch it every day after school, isn’t that enough? You want to do it in the morning too? Is that a boner right now? We are going to have to take care of this right now. You know I’ll do anything for you, sweetie.

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